We talk a lot about what we need, want, and deserve. Perhaps we should also talk a bit more about what we contribute ourselves.
We live in a time where there's a lot of talk about "me." What I want. What I need. What I deserve.
In many ways, this is good – because many have spent ample time pushing their own needs aside to fit into others' expectations.
But it's gone a bit too far, hasn't it?
If every cell in the body only thought of itself, what would happen to the rest of the body? If every drop in the ocean only saw itself as a separate drop, what would be left of the ocean?
We are not just individual projects. We are also part of something. Families. Friendships. Relationships. Workplaces. Communities.
I believe we talk a lot about what we want from others, and a little too little about what we deliver ourselves.
We want friends who show up. But do we show up ourselves?
We want to be seen. But how good are we at seeing others?
Showing up can mean answering the phone in the middle of dinner.
- Driving a bit further because someone needs it.
- Sending that message you almost couldn't be bothered with.
- Including someone without them having to ask.
It's not always grand. But it often costs something. Time. Energy. Comfort. Calendar space. Ego.
Perhaps that's exactly why it matters. Because if we only show up when it's perfectly convenient, when we have excess energy, and when it costs us nothing – I'd rather call that practical participation. Of course, we should have boundaries.
We shouldn't burn ourselves out to keep others warm. But there's a difference between boundaries and indifference. A difference between self-care and ego.
True well-being isn't just about taking care of yourself. It's also about how we are for others.
What kind of friend am I?
What kind of partner am I?
What kind of person am I when it's not about me?
We need more of each other. Not less.
So yes, take care of yourself. But don't make myself your entire life philosophy. Because a good life isn't built solely on what you receive. It's also built on what you give.
And sometimes showing up costs something.
But perhaps that's exactly what makes it valuable.